Sarah Silverman: Won't You Be (Good to) My Neighbor?

"Read some Jesus quotes & watch some Mr. Rogers before you decide what rights people don't deserve." -- @sarahksilverman

Kim Kardashian: Hooker for Twitter Followers

"Follow My sister @khloekardashian! Whoever gets her to 2.5 milli I will give them a big wet one! Ill be watching you guys!" -- @kimkardashian

Joan Rivers: You Just Can't Snark Snooki!

"It was recently announced that Snooki is writing a novel. Now all she has to do is learn the alphabet." -- @joan_rivers

"@Joan_Rivers I love when you mention me regardless of what it is! :) Xoxo" -- @snooki

"Oh Snooki. I feel that we will be eternal friends. xo RT@Sn00ki @Joan_Rivers I love when you mention me regardless of what it is :) Xoxo" -- @joan_rivers

Donald Trump: That's Dr. Trump to You

"I'm honored to be presented the award of Doctor of Business Administration Honoris Causa from Robert Gordon University in Aberdeen, Scotland" -- @realdonaldtrump

Denis Leary: But Is It as Dangerous as Texting While Drunk?

"Doctor: driving while texting worse than driving drunk. When did Lindsay Lohan become a doctor?" -- @denisleary

Steve Martin: If Dick, Jane, and Spot Can Do It, So Can You!

"Did you know it’s possible to Tweet a concise, grammatical, correctly punctuated sentence that is exactly one hundred forty characters long?" -- @stevemartintogo

Latoya Jackson: She's Only Happy When It Rains

"I'm loving the rain it's so beautiful, it reminds me of when my Mother, Janet, Michael & I would just drive around the city and enjoy it." -- @latoyajackson

Jimmy Fallon: America Wins!

"There’s a terror alert for Americans traveling in Europe. But the joke’s on you, terrorists – we can't afford to go to Europe! #FallonMono" -- @jimmyfallon