Thursday, January 7, 2010

Holly Madison: My, What a Nice Sword You Have

"DAMN! Some a' these Jack Sparrow impersonators on Hollywood Blvd are HOT!" -- @hollymadison123

Alyssa Milano: Don't Stink and Drive

"The A/C in my car... smells like dirty socks. Just an irrelevent FYI." -- @alyssa_milano

Asthon Kutcher: We're 'With' You

does anybody else with Kurt Cameron would do another TV show? --@apulsk

Questo: Worried About Jay Leno Pushing Back the Schedule?

yes every. i still have a job*

*for now

--@questlove

(Based on reports from TMZ)

Lindsay Lohan: Don't Believe What You See, Freaky Friday Isn't Real

All the those tapings are fake and untrue :) --@lindsaylohan

Wayne Brady: Can You Hear Me Now?

"One day, I'd like to be as important as the incredibly loud asshole talking on his cell on my flight!" -- @waynebrady

Taylor Swift: No Requiem for Her Dream

"Sorry to @grantmickelson for, after having a dream where you were bitten by a shark, calling at 4am to make you swear to stay on land." -- @taylorswift13

Talib Kweli: Crossing the Tropic of Ben and Jerry's

"Going to Vermont today, Rio de Janiero tomorrow. Talk about culture shock." -- @realtalibkweli

Sarah Silverman: How About Chicken of the Sea?

"I would eat fish but I can't because I have a nose." -- @sarahksilverman

Dolly Parton: Don't Judge a Book By Its Cosmetic Surgery

""The thing that's always worked for me is the fact that I look so totally artificial, but am so totally real." - Dolly" -- @dolly_parton

Reverend Run: And Now, Dating Advice From the Bible

"Ladies::: In scripture,Ruth found her gr8 man as she stayed focused on what was important (Ruth 2:1-12)" -- @revrunwisdom

Christina Applegate: Explain That One, Darwin

"Why can't pizza be good for you? What kind of crap is that?" -- @1capplegate

Courtney Love: LSD. This Explains A Lot.

1 out of3 american children including myself were molested( duh, like you couldnt tell that about me)(mine wasnt a bio ffamily member )
--
my MOTHER told me my FATHER did it, but frankly i dont believe her, he did give me lsd but molesting an infant? hes nuts, not that nuts --@CourtneyLoveUK

Soulja Boy: Workin' on Creating a Situation?

Shoutout to all the ladies for encouraging me with your nice tweets to further my body fitness. It's working ;) --@souljaboytellem

Dita Von Teese: Sure, It's the Fondue That Makes the Keys Sticky

Hey Typo Police, I meant "Homophobes should be banned from enjoying all cool THINGS gays made". I was eating fondue while tweeting. --@DitaVonTeese

Courtney Love: Author of the Britney Spears Tell All

shes owned and operated by a man who from 4 impeccable sources i know this one an eyewitness molested her from the age of 10/11 --@CourtneyLoveUK

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Roger Ebert: Short Circuit Is Due for a Remake...

"http://twitpic.com/wnpy8 - Christopher Walken in his basement robot workshop. (Painting by Brandon Bird)" -- @ebertchicago

Christopher Walken in his basement robot workshop. (Painting ... on Twitpic

Diablo Cody: More Like Running Their Mouths

"Every rapper claims they run this town. Someone must be lying." -- @diablocody

Courtney Love: Return of the Quack

Guess who's back in the mutha-fing house with a big fat twit for your mutha-fing mouth?

The gal who makes Tila's manic Twitter binges look amateur! The rocker who throws grammar to the wind like confetti at a parade! The mamma jamma who single-handedly keeps the Fail Whale fully employed by clogging up the interwebs!

Could the New Year start off any better? Courtney Love started a new Twitter account, and in just over two weeks, has managed to rack up 1,141 Tweets. Here's what we missed from Miss World:
-------------------------
"i dont want to be Buried in a pet Cemetary! its in my head, make it stooooop"
5:02 PM Dec 19th, 2009 from web

"of cours ethis is me, here ill prove it gwaarrrrbnnn pboc mother fucking lawyer banker asswipe cuck suck it bastards arrrg I mean REALLY"
1:37 AM Dec 24th, 2009 from web

"and btw i am not broke either, i was "broke" if you understand that my accounts were frozen by a lawsuit wich ill win cos im right."
5:29 PM Dec 28th, 2009 from web

"god i get so sick of teaching lessons to people, its boring, same shit, all the time every once in a while theres a micko- just mentor him"
10:33 PM Dec 31st, 2009 from web

"its called sucking it up, i do it all the time when im wrong in this case i didnt behave like i was the popular cheerleader bitches in skool"
3:15 AM Jan 1st from web

"all alone in this big loft, i decided not to hate fuck anyone, it was sort of not in me to do, the idea was rather lofty, but then again,,"
3:44 AM Jan 1st from web

"goodbye you old snake 09 why,, is that you 10? you look rather,,, fabulous do come in,, now ive confessed my deepest resolution to a crowd!"
4:16 AM Jan 1st from web

"wanna know what it was? i know you do,, it was "Not to be reactive to Madonna anymore" complex long intertwined and crazy, stick to it!"
4:17 AM Jan 1st from web

"since when did Tattoos make you rock when your lyrics are inane and you play pop? thats called Tattooed POP MUSIC and thats FINE for some,"
6:10 PM Jan 1st from web

"gotta watch basterds and whip up a kook storm and find the pins i bought krustys dealer out, shell have to recylcle her own nonselling rags"
9:10 PM Jan 2nd from web

"i cant find my sleep meds, and i need em bad im very very very worried about my daughter she has no clue whats going on, none,"
2:31 AM Jan 3rd from web

"waking up watching district 8 i coulndt do it i turned it off at the part where he had to shoot the alien, what happens>"
12:32 PM Jan 3rd from web

"a booty bump apparently makes white housewives look like they have cute pert black girl asses, wich is really a mindfuck, lil butt shelves"
4:43 PM Jan 3rd from web

"i was walking a blind mad across the street last night and he asked me to breathe on him, not to feel my face i thought that was odd."
2:37 PM Jan 5th from web

"ya know mj made a Vuitton bag called the "Courtney" and its blonde leather with spikes put up a pic of it cos I DONT HAVE IT MARC!"
3:29 PM Jan 5th from web

"god i was a homely teen, and i like my homely teen, im still a homely teen deep inside,"
about 20 hours ago from web

"i wish i was jennifer anniston right now, i really do, bottom line im a widow im not even anyones mother right now im useless failed at ever"
about 19 hours ago from web

The 2009 Best Celebrity to Follow on Twitter Is....



Check out our first ever, extra geeky, EXCLUSIVE VIDEO announcement of our top pick for The 2009 Best Celebrity on Twitter.

For more hilarious celebrities to follow, check out our honorable mentions list.

Debbie Gibson: The Strudel Always Spends a Lifetime on the Hips

Ok, so Megan Fox can LIMIT her sugar intake to 1 toaster strudel a day to maintain a 22" waist?!? NO FAIR!

Vinny G: Besty Beasts with Michael Cera

Two beastsssss on Twitpic
http://twitpic.com/wxh0q - Two beastsssss

John Legend: Get With It, Uncle Old Timer

"Taking my nephew to see the chipmunks movie. I kept correcting him when he was saying "squeakquel". Apparently I was the one who was wrong!" -- @johnlegend

Snooki: Reaffirming That It's Important to Set Goals

P Diddy LOVES the Jersey Shore and wants to meet us. Thats all i care about. my life is complete. http://bit.ly/7AosF9t --@Sn00ki

FYI - that bit.ly link goes to Snooki on Facebook.

Taylor Swift: Evergreen Is a Misnomer in the Swift Household

"Listening to my brother try to convince my mom to let him set the Christmas tree on fire in the back yard. He's making a good case so far." -- @taylorswift13

Hugh Hefner: What a REAL Party at the Playboy Mansion Is

Played Uno with the girls last night & it will be gin rummy with the guys tonight. --@hughhefner

Shaq: A Scenic, Snowy Drive

"Its so mother effn cold in cleveland i just drove by a grey hound bus and the greyhound was on the bus wit frozen ice cycle snot drippn." -- @the_real_shaq

I meant icicles wit my dumb ass lol -- @the_real_shaq

Tyra Banks: She Rocks Ruff and Stuff

"I rarely leave the house without earrings. Today I have one of my favorite pairs on. Big, gold & chunky!!!" -- @tyrabanks

Adrianne Curry: We Always Madly Inhale the Addictive Things

"I feel like Homer Simpson when he cant stop thinking about donuts...only I see cigarettes. DOH!" -- @adriannecurry

Demi Moore and Soulja Boy: On the Next Episode of "Leave It to Soulja"...

Hey @souljaboytellem big love but easy on spamming @aplusk inbox! -- @mrskutcher
about 14 hours ago from web

@mrskutcher I apologize Mrs. Kutcher, I'm just trying to reach 2million followers and @aplusk got followers on deck -- @souljaboytellem
about 13 hours ago from web in reply to mrskutcher

haha no apology needed! RT souljaboytellem I apologize Mrs. Kutcher I'm just trying to reach 2mil followers & @aplusk got followers on deck -- @mrskutcher
about 13 hours ago from TweetDeck

Soleil Moon Frye: Don't Hate on Her Punky Power Style

"I packed a hello kitty lunch box to take with me to work. People are looking at me a little funny. Am I too old to bring a lunch box?" -- @moonfrye

Wayne Brady: One Man Show

Good morning from Utah! What goes good with snow? Hot Chocolate!!!! Utah's only one person, black male,dance revue

          Good morning from Utah! What goes good with snow? Hot Chocolate!!!! Utah's only one person, black male,dance revue

Diablo Cody : She's Gonna Like The Way She Looks

Is that Men's Wearhouse guy for real or an actor? I want to hire him to come over and say reassuring things about my body --@diablocody

Tila Tequila and Perez Hilton: Takin' it to the Tweets

@PerezHilton hey u better be careful who u talkin to. You're SO LAST YEAR! Just be careful cuz I got all of my paparazzi's on LOCK!

@officialtila I'm amazed you're not broadcasting live, showing us you're "grieving"! That's totally something trash like you would do!

@PerezHilton U can sit there& talk all ur dumb shit that everyone is tired o. fMy new Gossip Blog will not RUIN or DESTROY ppls lives like u

@officialtila Tweet away, honey. The more you Tweet, the more your true colors reveal themselves. And they are vile!

@PerezHilton hhaha already showing your true colors like a fat little kid who lost another candy bar. Make sure to tell Twist & Malack hi!

@officialtila You should try and get custody of her daughter. That'd be GREAT publicity, all you crave in life!

@PerezHilton First of all I never pulled no damn tampon out nor masturbated..those were YOUR LYING WORDS once again. Get a life!
(Wow, that got gross)
@PerezHilton and yes I do remember saying I was pregnant. I dont recall how I lied about that? Just cuz I wouldn't tell ur fatass wut hppnd?
@PerezHilton 1 last thing, I know this really is about my new Gossip Blog De-throwning yours! Everyone on the inside knows! so ur pissed LOL

@officialtila That's why YOU'RE new website is gonna be awesome! Woo hoo! Publicize that new website girl! Kill Casey again!

@officialtila That new blog is gonna be awesome! Too bad Casey didn't die after you launched it, right? That timing would have been great!

@officialtila If Casey Johnson could come back from the dead, she'd come and fucking kill you for how you've been behaving! #YouAreWack

So sad @PerezHilton is angry that my new Gossip Blog is going to put him out of business so he decides to throw a hissy fit this morning LOL

@officialtila You are so blind! This is not about me. This is about YOU! This is about how vile you are and your actions recently. You lose!

@PerezHilton hey u better be careful who u talkin to. You're SO LAST YEAR! Just be careful cuz I got all of my paparazzi's on LOCK!

@officialtila Violence is never the answer, but I hope one day @Rihanna gives you what you have coming!

PS- @PerezHiltonmy gossip blog is EXCLUSIVE so looks like u won't be able to buy your stories from me cuz they won't sell them to you! haha

@officialtila Bitch, I'm not scared of you. You are a JOKE! And the paparazzi can suck your cock!

The paparazzi can suck my cock? is that why ur so jealous? @PerezHilton cuz I have a bigger cock than yours & they all work for me now? HAHA

@OfficialTila You're like the boy who cried wolf! Remember how you told everyone you were pregnant and then said you were joking?

@OfficialTila You are a PATHOLOGICAL liar! You will do ANYTHING for publicity! You have no soul! Go back to your fake grieving now!

yea whatever...I never even had u on my radar hunny bunny @perezhilton but thanks for letting me know who my next paparazzi targets are. YOU

PS- @perezhilton my gossip blog is EXCLUSIVE so looks like u won't be able to buy your stories from me cuz they won't sell them to you! haha

@OfficialTila I'm done with you. Buh bye! xoxo

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Thomas Lennon: Respect A Man's Final Wishes

When I die, please don't let it be announced on Twitter. (That's what Facebook is for) --@ThomasLennon

Who Was the Best Celeb on Twitter in 2009?

We've been tossing this question around like a trending topic for about a week now. If you could pick the best celebrity feed to follow last year, who would be the top dog?

Before we announce our choice, here are some honorable mentions for Twitter's Top Celebrity Twits of '09:
  • Diablo Cody: Maybe writers have an unfair advantage, but not all scribes can get it down in 140 characters or less. We love Brook Busey for bringing on her pop culture witticisms and dark humor, and leaving the rapid fire Juno dialogue in her scripts.
  • Questlove: Imagine that your best pal has some crazy in to spy on celebrities and can give you all the dirty gossip with deadpan humor. Now read this Roots rocker's Twitter page, and you'll get why he's so fun to follow.
  • Weird Al: Do you have a corny uncle in your family who makes puns his personal mission? Like that uncle, we have a soft spot for Yankovic, who kills us with his word play... and his twitpics.
  • Katy Perry: It's not easy to strike a balance between girly and gross, but this starlet goes both ways. She loves to divulge the details of her life in witty and irreverent posts, and always keeps us coming back for more.
  • John Mayer: Somehow this pop rocker gets a free pass to say whatever the hell he thinks without repercussion... which makes for hilarious commentary. As long as he keeps the comedy on Twitter and out of stand up, we'll be devoted fans.

John Stamos: BC, AD, or PS?

"http://twitpic.com/wemgc - apparently this is a store that sells stuff manufactured before i was born." -- @johnstamos

apparently this is a store that sells stuff manufactured befo... on Twitpic

Kelly Osbourne: Let's Hope Bat Heads Weren't on the Menu

"Dinner was so fun tonight my mum started a food fight in the restaurant I have not laughed so hard in ages!" -- @misskellyo

Martha Stewart: Operation Dumbo Drop in 5...4...3...

"http://twitpic.com/wb7qc - This is what I am doing right now!!" -- @marthastewart

This is what I am doing right now!! on Twitpic

Lady Gaga: She Means at Bowling... Right?

"Hmmmmm...I wonder if ill score tonight" -- @ladygaga


--Someone's been watching Grease 2...

Rainn Wilson: Keeping Up With the Salahis

"Jeez, it's easier to get into one of those White House dinners than the Cable 'Ace' Awards. I should throw on a tux & swing by." -- @rainnwilson

Solange Knowles: Encounters M. Knight Shymalan Bugs

"fuck u invisible bugs. i KNOW im not tripping. im itchn. where are youuuuu?" -- @solangeknowles

Perez Hilton: Keeps Up The Fight With Tila

@ParisHilton I believe you're heart is in the right place, P. But that Tila Tequila is being gutter trash with how she's handling this!!!!!

Paris Hilton: Tweets About Her Loss of Casey Johnson

I feel so sad right now, my heart is in pain. Just lost a longtime friend. My heart goes out to her family. R.I.P. Casey Johnson Love you :(
about 11 hours ago from web

In bed crying, looking at baby pictures of Casey, Nicky and I. I feel so upset. I feel like I've lost a sister. My heart is broken. Miss her
about 5 hours ago from web

http://twitpic.com/wr69i - God has another Angel by his side. Casey, we all Love and Miss you and know that you are in a better place. R.I.P
about 5 hours ago from TwitPic

God has another Angel by his side. Casey, we all Love and Mis... on Twitpic

Perez Hilton: Doesn't Believe Tila's Sincere...

@OfficialTila There is more to life than getting publicity and clawing your way from the F list to the D list of fame! DEATH is real shit!

@officialTila You sink even lower! What's worse is that YOU MUST KNOW how disgusting you're behaving - and yet you still show no decency!

Simon Pegg: Oscar Winners, Just Like Us!

http://tweetphoto.com/8053183 One of these men has won an Oscar --@simonpegg

Kirstie Alley: Channeling Al Gore

GOOD MORNING GLOBAL WARMERS...did you see how much snow is in Asia? China? Korea? like the day after tomorrow kind of snow...YIKES! --@KirstieAlley

Katy Perry: Indian Acne

i have a zit where my bindi should be, does that count? Dang. --@katyperry

Tila Tequila: Our Deepest Sympathy Goes Out To You XO

R.I.P my Angel. @caseyjonsonJnJ u will forever be in my heart! I love u so so much and we will Marry when I see U in Heaven my Wifey --@officialTila

*Click here for more information on this tragic story.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Snooki: Try Fist Pumping Ironically Out for Size

"michael cera just looked amazing fist pumping with us and he totally battled @MTVDJPAULYD lmao!!" -- @sn00ki

Dita Von Teese: I Wouldn't Put That in Your Mouth, Timmy

"On the next episode of "You've Got to be Sh**tin' Me" the maid shows up early with a screaming toddler to Dita's non-childproof house." -- @ditavonteese

Yoko Ono: Put Your Left Foot In. Take Your Left Foot Out.

"Watch a butterfly dance. Watch the fireflies dance. Watch the lights on the water dance. Let your heart dance with them." -- @yokoono

Pink: Stop Licking the Scrubbing Bubbles...

"Wow. Being gone for a year makes for a lot of house work. Who put meth in my water?" -- @pink

Weird Al: Do They Sell Repellent for That?

"http://twitpic.com/wnqm9 - Uh oh. I thought this hiking trail was supposed to be safe." -- @alyankovic

Uh oh.  I thought this hiking trail was supposed to be safe. on Twitpic

Soulja Boy: Give Us This Day Our Daily Tweet

"Waking up thanking God for letting me see another day. I just upgraded to the new Ubertwitter on my blackberry" -- @souljaboytellem

Eliza Dushku: Celebrities Crushing on Celebrities

"Martha Martha Martha Martha Martha Stewart in our lobby... I was excited" -- @elizadushku

Diablo Cody: It Was a Dry Dream

"I dreamed about group sex all night and the people weren't even hot! Can't my subconscious do better?" -- @diablocody

Wayne Brady: It's Called "The Jersey Shore"

"What's wrong with showbiz today! http://tweetphoto.com/8018788" -- @waynebrady

          What's wrong with showbiz today!

Kylie Minogue: Lots of Glitter in 2010

"Happy New Year to all my PEEPS!!!!! Sending loads of love, music and sparkle..naturally!!! :)" -- @kylieminogue

2009 Celebrity Twitter Round Up

Happy 2010 people! Before you follow that dirty New Year's resolution to stop paying so much attention to celebrity gossip, here's a look back at some of the great Twitter moments from our favorite A-listers.

Top Celebrity Twitter News Stories - MTV rounds up some of the more newsworthy twitter stories of the year.

10 Most Important Tweets of 2009 - From Ashton Kutcher to Oprah, these were tweets read 'round the world, so to speak.

Best Twitter Photos of 2009 - From Demi Moore's derriere to Kim Kardashian getting her teeth whitened, Telegraph UK posts memorable twit pics.

Best Celebrity Twitter Stories and Scandals - Wait, Kanye West isn't dead? According to Pop Eater, it was just a Twitter hoax :O)

Twitter's Most Engaging Celebrities - Mashable marks up who has the most followers, tweets, and mentions in '09.

Worst Celeb Moments on Twitter of the Year - Chris Brown proves he can be a digital douche, and Lindsay Lohan puts the "twitter" in TMI. This is why we love getting the dirt straight from the source.